Its that time of year again.  Its cool yet warm outside, it smells amazing outside, some of the trees are starting to change... that means its time for firemans festival again.  So, im up north for the first time this year and let me tell you, I am one happy camper! Im gonna try to get some pics up each day because we have so much fun up here!!!

A new chapter, A new leaf, what ever you want to call it, Im back at square one again.  Tuesday I start a new job.  Yay excited that I found a new job,  scared about the change. 

Im leaving the job at the chiropractic office for a job at a local spa.  I know, most people are thinking "are you crazy? ur leaving a doctors office for a spa?"  Problem was, the Dr.s office was only paying $8 an hour plus what I would make in private massage, if I got private massage.  I was competing with 11 other therapists for work, and thats not easy.  So, I found, applied for and got the new job at the spa.  where I will only be paid on commission, but I also have no competition while im there.  there is one other therapist that works there, but she is on the opposite schedule than me... so when Im there, Im the only therapist there.  So my new chapter may turn out to be the best one yet, but it could also be the worst. 

Keep a book mark, tha way you wont loose your place.

I get tired of telling people, including on line, about how I feel and/or whats going on with me.  I seem to be in a bit of a funk, and when all my posts/tweets/updates are depressing, it depresses other people who  are reading it.  I dont want that, its just another thing weighing on me.  SO, if I cant vent on here with out getting crap, I cant vent in person, cuz thats just a nightmare when you are depressed, what am I supposed to do?

I am really lonely right now and I think that is the biggest part of my problem.  Im not good when Im single, and this is just like being single and I hate it.  I hate dating, I hate the games that go along with it and am tired of it. 

Vent complete, go ahead, rant on and on about "oh why are you always so down" and "things really aren't that bad". Oh oh and my favorite "just be happy".  let the onslaught commence...

So, Being on crutches, or just being temporarily handycapped in anyway, will really open ur eyes.  The response that you get from people is one of two extremes.  Either, they are more than helpful, borderline pittying you, or they act like you dont exist. 

For instance,  when I fell in the road, It was clear that I really was hurt.  I didnt get up I crawled over to the side of the road so I didnt get hit by a car.  There were three different people outside in viewing distance of me, two Im sure looked right at me...  No one offered to help. They just went on their way of whatever they were doing.  In hindsight, I am totaly floored.  If it were me, I would have run over when I saw the person go down, but hey, maybe its just me.

Also, I was in the store today, though I am feel ing lots better, I am still in a brace and using one crutch.  I had a cart, so I was able to semi walk, but I was trying to get something out of the freezer at the farmers market store,  when my cart started to roll away (the floor is really uneven).  An older man said, laughing, "there goes your cart!" .  then turned at kept walking down the isle he was in.  Two other people stood right near me and just watched as I tried to get over to the cart.  (my one crutch was in the cart).  I couldnt believe it.

Im one of those people who helps older people or anyone in need just because... I get carts for people, and put them back for people,  I hold doors, carry things, direct people in the right direction, etc.  So, maybe its just me being expectent of people when I shouldnt. 

Just loosing a bit of faith in humanity... :-/

I dont have the best of luck in the world when it comes to my health.  I have had some odd things happen to me, things that are pretty rare... and a lot of things have happend in a very weird order. 

My week has progressed in this way.  I started the weekend finding that i have a spot of ring worm, and my chest and stomach has broken out in a strange rash.  Fun, I know.  So, I of course couldnt go to work on monday morning having a contageous rash.  So, tuesday came around, and after having a stressfull two days (rash and family driving me crazy)  I decided I would be healthy, and go rollerblading.  Of course, with my luck, I rolled over weird ground and went down weird and sprained my knee.  SO, im on crutches for a week, thus out of work for a week.

I am so bored and cant stand feeling helpless like this.  I can't drive because it is my right leg, I cant walk, obviously.  I dont like asking people for help... I just feel so stuck. 

sorry, I just had to complain for a min

At some time, everyone has a breaking point, on every matter that they encounter in their lives.  In particular,  they have a breaking point, on how much they are willing to take in a relationship...  There is a line of how far they will let something or someone push them before they inevitably have to "call it quits".  That line, generally, is very distinct and very visible. 

But what about the little breaking points along the way and the consequence that follow when they are crossed? 

The series of events that has lead me to the point that i'm at in my relationship right now, are for all intents and purposes for this blog, inconsequential.  What is important is the consequences I mentioned.  Now,  I have made this decision within myself, and it is my no means up for debate, nor am I interested in what other's opinion's about my decision being right or wrong... no offense.  But I've decided that talking to other people that are interested in talking to me is not out of the question right now. 

I have been talking to some guys that are interested in me lately... some are absolute idiots and are just interested in sex, which they're not getting from me, but others are really nice guys.   Do I see a future with any of the people i'm talking to? no, not right now...  But man, there are some really really strange people out there that are so blunt, and straight forward, that it catches u off guard and is absolutely astonishing to me.  I've had people say to me,  "i'm not really interested in getting to know anyone, I'm really just looking for friends with benefits... more emphasis on the benefits than on the friends."  I'm in no way kidding.  It is astonishing, that guys think that they are going to get a positive response to that.  But, you never know, maybe they are... maybe I'm just very old fashioned and am oblivious to whats really going on in the "dating world" since I've been out of it for so long. 

never the less... I am so surprised by what I've found.

there comes time for change every day... I think I am at one of those little lines....

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I have had the most un-godly head ache for 2 days now. I have taken everything I can think of to make it go away, and nothing is helping.  Last night, I started getting a fever with it.  All night long, it would go up and down, making me sweat, then shiver.  How is someone supposed to get sleep?  It is so cold outside, I dont even want to go out to get my perscriptions.  Its just all around nasty today

soo, its currently 3 degrees outside right now with a wind chill of 15 below. o top it off, its going to get colder.  Thank you universe for not only blessing us with the worst economy in the country, but with record breaking freezing temperatures.  Ding ding for us.